Dear Justin Timberlake…

Justin Timberlake with scarf

You really are my big hero. When you swing your hips and slide over the floor so the ladies at the front row faint, I know I should have gone for superstar instead of web developer.

That Michael Jackson dance-alike thing you’ve got going really works; just look at your huge fan base, all eager to be like you. Paparazzi follow every step you make, eager to tell the world about all the little things you’re up to.

This is why it surprises me that your website (justintimberlake.com) is using technology from 1996. How would it look if you walked around promoted something like the mullet haircut?! Having a website like yours is just like that, you’re promoting a technological mullet!

What’s even worse, some of your fans are following suit and use the same ideas for their fan sites, with technology that blocks access for many users, that prevent search engines for finding them, and that adds extra work for them when updating.

So, how do we solve this problem of yours? Well, there’s many options available. Let me tell you about my favorite:

Start by sneaking out of your fancy house. Make sure you avoid as many paparazzi as possible, but the idea is not to shake them all off. I’m sure you’re much more skilled in these areas than I am. Now, meet me somewhere with a computer that has an internet connection. You probably want to send me a plane ticket: I’m guessing Stockholm, Sweden is a bit too far away from you.

Anyway, the idea is that I will teach you what I know about web development right there. You get a free course from a famous blogger (oh well, semi-famous in small parts of Sweden). The languages used are not hard to learn, don’t worry about that, they are designed to be easy. You’re a smart guy, so I’m sure it will go smooth. After the first day you will know all about structuring your site, after a week you’ll be able to reconstruct your current site with modern technology. After that there’s no limit.

When you’ve mastered web development we’ll add a final twist. Accidentally, we’ll reveal what you’ve been up to for the few paparazzi that are still following you. The headlines will be huge: “Justin Timberlake learns secret web arts” and “New way to grow your fan base: Justin explains”. It will be great, and the media will go crazy! So, what do you think? Send me an e-mail at em@kth.se if you’re interested.

Or, you could just hire someone good (ask for web standards and accessibility)… But what fun would that be?

[Update: Sorry Justin, I’m not gay, this is just about web development ;)]

11 responses to “Dear Justin Timberlake…

  1. Pingback: Top Searched For Celebs » Blog Archive » Dear Justin Timberlake...
  2. Hi,

    I truly appreciate your open love to me, and it goes without saying that i admire the firing passion you show towards me.

    Nonetheless i do agree with you on my website. And i wish we could get together and let me snuggle up some of your nerdiness, because you truly snatched my attention.

    Please do leave me an e-mail at justin@justintimberlake.com

    sinserly,

    Justin

  3. Pingback: 72dontfold.com » Blog Archive » Justin Timberlake got a shitty site :)
  4. I think his site is made by Sony/BMG, so they are the ones to blame for it.

  5. I’m not sure he would be interested in learning the ropes. But he might hire someone to do it :) but I doubt that too actually. justintimberlake.com gets all the trafic it needs I’m sure.

  6. His web site does NOT need anything!!!It is the coolest web site ever…I love u Justin, you’re my role model, I’m going 2 the concert in September at the Rose Garden in Portland OR.WOW!i wish i could hug u!

  7. justin i am a really big fan of yours and i think you are the biggest and best singer in the whole world.every thing about you is truly amazing from your style your incredible smile your body omg! you are really one of a kind and i just have to say god bless your mom for having you!!!!! thats not all you have done for me but you made me realize that dreams really come true but anyway about the comments on the article its ok i guess i mean its not all that great but its a start.

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